To Love is to Live

This blog has become my safe space. A space where I can be vulnerable, honest, and truly myself while also possibly talking myself through my life issues. This is the place where if you want to know the inner workings of my mind, you’ll find them. The place where most of the time, I don’t have censors. So if you don’t want to know what’s going on in my head, if you’re about to judge where I’m at in my life, my healing process, my anything else, I beg you to please, kindly leave my safe space to be. I want others to come into my space and feel safe as well, to know that there’s no judgement from me, or anyone else, because we’re all just trying to learn. So for a very vulnerable look into my life, please read on. 

There’s a time in everyone’s life where it’s easy to say “I wish I were them”. 

Especially with the culture we live in now. It’s all about posting your best moments. Sharing the highlights of your life. No one’s going to want to know the low lights. So we back off of social media when we’re at our lowest point. When we’ve experienced the worst heartbreak. When we can’t scroll through our phone without being so encapsulated by the jealousy of engagements and weddings and happy couples. We’re told by our friends and family that you just need time to heal. You just need to live each day as it comes. 

We’re told over and over again that people only post their best life on social media. But you can’t help and feel like you have no “best life” to share. Because your heart is broken. Your spirit has been crushed. Your mind is nothing but chaos. 

But then you remember that you’re human. And you try to have grace with yourself. Only to melt onto the shower floor hoping the hot water will burn your pain away. 

Heartache is hard. It’s painful. It’s disgusting. It’s irreversible. 

But it’s in those moments where we choose to be better. 

We have to choose in the deepest moments of despair to not let our world be taken away from us. To remember to keep doing things we love. To remember it’s okay to be vulnerable to our friends and family and weep because it hurts so much. 

These are the moments where character is made. 

Realizing that you’re human and it’s okay to hurt, is one of the best things you can do for yourself. 

Cooping up in bed for a day is sometimes healthy. 

But then being able to sit and cry in front of your friends is healthy too. 

In these moments where your world feels like it will never be happy again, is where you’re reminded that life is beautiful. 

Because if you didn’t love hard enough to break down when that love is gone, you haven’t lived. The temptation to hate relationships gone wrong, is strong. Especially when other people’s opinions are in the air. But realizing that each person has taught you something about love, and life, is key. 

Yes, you may never be the same. But think of how much you’ve grown and learned because of heartache; because of loss. 

Love is a gift. When it’s gone it’s hard, and it hurts like hell. 

But isn’t it better we loved and learned, than never loved at all? 

I don’t pretend to have answers. Especially since it’s hard to find any answers in mourning. But there’s something so powerful about love. And sometimes all you can do is rest in the fact that nothing happens on accident. Nothing is in vain. 

No one ever said love was easy. 

But then again, no one can ever prepare you for how hard the loss of it is. 

So for now, rest in the fact that others have mourned. Others have lost love. But in the end, when you finally are loved as much as you have loved, it will hopefully all be worth it. 

Or at least here’s hoping. 

With the biggest ounce of love she can muster,

The girl who’s determined to not give up on love.